So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
