Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
