i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The air was thick with penises
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
