There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
