i already hear my dad disowning me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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