I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize