hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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