i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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