I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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