Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
there is glitter all over my balls
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
