Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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