its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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