Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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