My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
