I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize