new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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