All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
is it fun? or sober?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
