I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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