I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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