Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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