I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
