Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
