have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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