theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
