He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
