Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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