You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
