I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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