people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
