Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
