Is it because I queefed?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
