Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No subtext here. People are naked.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize