That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
