if only i could text you this smell
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
