shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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