so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
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