my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
