If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
why is half of my head shaved?
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