Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
someone owes me an orgasm
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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