the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
