you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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