...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
