we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
