Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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