I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have fence marks all over my body
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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