Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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