im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
