I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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