2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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