At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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