I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize