2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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