i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
