Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
