just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
