We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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