I cockslap morals
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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