like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
