I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You made out with two different species that night
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
