just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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