I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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