If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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