what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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