Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
