I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
