Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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