i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
